December 15, 2021

I’m well into burnout territory now.

Working a full-time job, having two kids I want to be there for, doing a startup on the side, doing other smaller projects to keep options open, being there as a husband and son. It’s a lot to deal with. But I think I was fine until recently.

There was an event in the startup that made me take two weeks off it. I’m used to working alone in this environment and am fairly experienced and knowledgeable in the field. Working with a team who are not from this space has its issues. There are some directions the company is heading in that I 100% disagree with, and just won’t do. It boils down to a drive to build more products before doing any marketing. I’ve seen that fail several times before and I’m not going to do it again. That disagreement is not the point here though, it’s the feeling I’ve had since that meeting. Burnout.

I feel less energised for the startup, I feel like I’m being treated as an employee, and I feel like I’d be better off spending my time somewhere I can be more productive.

I once read a quote along the lines of:

You don’t get tired from the things you do, you get tired from the things you don’t do.

I feel exhausted, unmotivated, and unfocused.

It’s most likely overwork and needing a break. I’m probably taking things out of context. But damn, the tiredness is real.

I can find a way out of this personally through mini-meditations and mental resets. But it doesn’t solve the issue of motivation. It’s gotten to the stage of having to prepare simple bits of work, and that leads me into doing some work, but nothing like the motivation I had a month ago.

I’ll keep an eye on it, and see how I feel after the break. In the meantime, I think have to just slow down for a couple of weeks and get some rest.

30 by 30 #9

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Written by Adrian Gray making games in Sydney. Find him on Mastodon or Twitter.